I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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