I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I believe in your delicious
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
