Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I don't think brook has ever known best
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
