You made me cry and you don't even care
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
