Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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