you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
third nipple confirmed
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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