Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
