Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Randomize
