there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
