dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
