i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
