How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
