TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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