New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
