I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
