it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
