i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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