it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
