wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
