So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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