JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
