I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
