Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
