Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
