he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
