You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
