So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
