Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
