Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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