You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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