Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
