she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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