she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
