her vagine was all disorganized.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
