Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
