So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
