why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
