I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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