bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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