You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
