I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
