Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Panties = found
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize