My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
