? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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