Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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