Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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