so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
