Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize