haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
