I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
