operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
