well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
it glows. i had to have it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
