i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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