She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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