Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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