he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We have so much sex to catch up on
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
