Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
There r osticjed everywhere
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My ass is underappreciated
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
