seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
