just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
