Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
