respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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