awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
