so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
