I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
