I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
