Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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