sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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